| 7 Reasons Why Liberals Hate MetroSpy Conservative T-Shirts |
Here at MetroSpy, we're doing everything we can to contribute to the increase in global warming. Unfortunately, we've been at it for several years now and for the past few seasons, we haven't seen any major hurricanes, iceberg meltdowns or the type of global catastrophes whiny Greenpeace freaks have been predicting.
From what we can tell, the problem is, we're just not selling enough shirts. So, if you're reading this, we strongly urge you to help MetroSpy ignite the Global BBQ by purchasing one of our shirts today.
Please note, purchasing one of our t-shirts means you will be contributing to liberal distress in the following ways:
- The average MetroSpy customer throws away almost 70 pounds of t-shirts, jeans and clothing per year.
- 10% of all agricultural chemicals and 25% of insecticides in the U.S. are used to grow the type of cotton used in MetroSpy T-shirts.
- It takes almost 1/3 of a pound of chemicals (pesticides and fertilizers) to grow enough cotton for just ONE MetroSpy T-shirt
- According to the EPA, seven of the fifteen pesticides used on the cotton in MetroSpy T-Shirts are considered “possible”, “likely”, “probable”, or “known” carcinogens.
- Because we do not use organically grown cotton, the farms we use may actually increase global warming.
- The cotton used in MetroSpy t-shirts requires more fossil fuel to produce and may contribute to climate change.
- Pesticides used to grow our cotton are suspected to be responsible for the severe drop in honeybees, the increase in frogs with extra legs and eyes, and annual death of 67 million birds.
As we learn more, we will let you know. Thanks! |
