Our creative team designs all t-shirts, jackets and caps you see on this site. Many of our creations include edgy, often controversial political slogans. As a company, we don't believe in needless recycling programs and we don't go out of our way to to use 'Earth-Friendly' materials during our manufacturing processes. Some of our pre-manufactured raw goods are produced in overseas sweatshops where the workers make only ten cents a day. We're 'OK' with that. At MetroSpy, our most important considerations have to do with our customers. Our customers want value and service for their hard earned money.

If wiping out a few 'new-Delhi-flower-loving-sand-flies' means we can offer our merchandise for a few pennies cheaper, that fly has got to go.

Human beings are not destroying the planet. In a 100,000 years the Earth will still be here. Over the next hundred years however, things may get warmer and things may get cooler. Either way, we don't care. During the next ice-age we expect to sell more sweatshirts than t-shirts and more beanies than baseball caps. Overall, future sales look pretty good. On a daily basis, we drive gas guzzling SUVs to make deliveries, we have bar-b-ques on Fridays and we use all manner of canned aerosols to clean and disinfect after a liberal leaves our office.

We don't have a problem with gays. They should have all the same rights as heterosexual men. They should be allowed to marry the woman of their choice.

We smoke cigars...lots of them. Adults who smoke too much sometimes get cancer. This is a risk they should be allowed to take.

Animals do not have rights. The ones that taste good should be eaten. The ones that are friendly should be kept as pets and the others, such as spiders and ants should be killed.

Genetically modified food could make lots of people rich and end world hunger. But because liberals hate the rich, the poor will just have to starve.

A few miles from here is the massive windmill farm just outside of Palm Springs. In our view, the windmills are ugly and the power they produce is an absolute joke. They should be melted down and turned into portable diesel generators or used to help form a dam or something.

All MetroSpy gatherings include massive amounts of red meat, fresh from the butcher. Select portions of dolphin, tuna, and manatee are also available from time to time.

Life starts at conception. If liberals were more honest with themselves they would advocate the killing of babies up until the child started preschool. How else would you really know if you want the kid until you have a chance to try him out for a few years.

Up until now, MetroSpy has been an equal opportunity employer. By being so fair and open minded, it turns out, most of our employees are minority. At last count their was only one White guy working here. At least we think he's White. Even the MetroSpy owners are Black. We're not sure how all of this minority stuff happened but we're now planning to rethink our non-discrimination policy.

For the most part, MetroSpy is a pretty simple little company. We're not hip or cool. Our dress code is basically Jeans and a T-shirt unless you're goin' to church or about to meet the President. We don't allow any of that San Francisco type, liberal, uppity, snobishnish anywhere near here.

Beer from a can, whiskey from a bottle... and smile! ...and one more thing - yes, we have guns.